plz talk dirty to me
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
