you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
