god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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