Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I could have mohawked her pubes.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
