Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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