well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
