covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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