Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
