He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
