I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
