Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
