Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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