I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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