how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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