you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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