oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize