smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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