I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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