dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
