everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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