It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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