Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
