My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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