New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
