i don't like sucking hair
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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