white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
