I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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