We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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