her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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