I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
