Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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