he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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