Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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