Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i think i have two assholes
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You ruined the universe
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
where are my eyebrows?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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