i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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