so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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