you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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