"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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