All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
