Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
