I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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