At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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