Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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