with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
