How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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