Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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