sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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