apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
