The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
