yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
