So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
