just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
