So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
