she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
