She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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