So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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