i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
