Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize