HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
